FELLOWSHIP

1 Samuel 20-23

A narrative: True friends are closer than brothers

FRIENDSHIP is difficult to handle. In our intensely self-centred and suspicious culture, we trust few people fully and close relationships outside of partnerships invite sneers or allegations of sexual impropriety.

It is one facet of human life in which the ancients, even the Victorians, outscore us. Close friendship and the affection that goes with it was accepted as normal and healthy and did not require sexual expression. The book of Proverbs extols its virtues. For example, 27:10.

In the twelfth century AD, an Abbot of Rievaulx Abbey in Yorkshire described friendship as a “foretaste of Heaven where no one hides his thoughts or disguises his affection”. Those were the words of Abbot Aeldred. David and Jonathan were friends like that.

Crown prince Jonathan, heir to the throne (14:49) was a strong and brave man (14:1). After David’s giant killing episode, they became such firm friends that Jonathan gave David the emblems of his authority (18:1-4).

In the unenviable choice between his father and his friend, Jonathan supported David against the patent injustice of Saul (19:1,4) and in an episode full of cloak-and-dagger secrecy warned David to flee (ch 20). Although parted, their bond remained secure (23:15-18) which must have been dangerous for Jonathan.

Theirs is not the only biblical example of friendship, but it is one of the most detailed. It leaves modern casual acquaintances standing. There can be no Christian fellowship without friendship. None. If we desire closer Christian community, it will have to start with personal friendship.